Thursday, March 22, 2012

Household tax defense

Lets face it most people are "winging it" in regards to paying the household tax and lets face it nobody wants to pay. In days to come many of the good souls of Ireland will be putting themselves on the wrong side of the law, yes it is a totally scumbag unjust tax. While we are waiting for "Zombie Robin Hood" to return to save us from an unjust King, just what exactly is your defense going to be when you don't pay. Lets guess you don't have one and this just won't wash with the courts as I don't agree with the charge is about as good a defense as "I don't agree with speed limits".

I think we have heard the rumor or the viral letter proporting to be from a respected law firm stating that if you dont consent to the charge them you dont have to pay. Well its FAKE and the advice is baseless, so there you are standing in court harping on about the fact that you heard something about something. The judge will have heard the same excuses many times before you and will be sick to the teeth of them, thus eroding any chance of sympathy.

Now lets just say the 1,600,000 persons who haven't registered were ALL to go online at 13:00 on the last day to register, and lets just say the site crashed from all the traffic.

At the very least this would offer a viable defense in a court of law stating that a viable and reasonable attempt to register for the charge was attempted but was unable to be executed. This in the least would be better than no defense.



This is purely a speculative opinion on what may happen and should not be taken as legal advice or incitement to attempt to recreate the scenario described here.

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Gordo's top tip #1 (Fluffy Pockets)

Fluffy Pocket
We all have suffered from that damn fluffy pocket at one time or another and it can be quite an inconvience. Currently 65% of people have undiagnosed "fluffy pockets".

What is it?
Well its when your pocket due to the strains of daily life collects fluff and other particles that are hard to remove. I believe this phenomenon can also occur in handbags. We've all at some stage of our lives tried to pay for items in a shop with a handful of fluff and a few coins.


Whats the big deal?
Well if left untreated it will wreck your head and the screen of your phone if the particles are abrasive.
Normal cleaning does not always get rid of the problem, even a "pocket shakeout®™" can't sort out a fluffy pocket all of the time.


AGHHHH what the hell can I do?
First off all calm down, dealing with these emergencies is best done with a level head. Then when you've got it together follow the steps below.

  1. Take control of the situation.
  2. Remove all items from pocket and place in safe place.
  3. Take ordinary household vacuum cleaner and insert into pocket.
  4. Clean until all that fluffy scourge has gone.
  5. Place items back into pocket and go about your merry business.
  6.  Check pockets & handbags regularly.

Research may suggest people with fluff free pockets live on average 3 years longer than people with "fluffy pocket" so keep safe and dont stress out, "fluff out®™"!


Infomercial may come soon!

Thursday, February 09, 2012

Chinese foot binding

I have known about the practice of Chinese foot binding for years without ever fully understanding it. I have recently read Jung Chang's book Wild Swans which was a fascinating read and highly recommended, Jung in this book describes her grandmothers bound feet in detail. After I read her description I still did not fully grasp the way the foot was shaped, and embarked on further research.

Brief history 
It is believed that foot binding originated in the Tang Dynasty (618–907), and seems to have been an almost purely Han tradition as the Manchu and other minorities did not practice foot binding.

There are three stories of origin for foot binding, all credited to the court of Emporer Tang Daizong (Li Yu):
  1. The Emperors' favorite concubine had unusually small feet, and that the upper classes began to bind their feet to emulate her.
  2. The Empress had club feet and she convinced the emperor to order that all women were to bind their feet so that she would be setting her deformity as a model of beauty and elegance.
  3.  It is reported that in the 8th century Yao-Niang the consort of Emperor Li Yu of the Tang Dynasty performed a dance on a ‘golden lotus’ pedestal, wrapping her feet in silken cloths.This apparently became the fashion, and evolved with time.

Foot binding usually started when a girl was between 3 and 5 although some were bound much later in some cases such as poor families which caused much more pain.
Firstly the feet were soaked in a warm bowl of herbs and animal blood, and the nails clipped back. Four toes were broken then bent back under the foot. The arch of the foot was bent upwards and the arch broken by force to shorten the foot, this was easier when the girl was young when the bones were soft. Sometimes the sole of the foot was cut with a knife to attain the "proper" shape, while the big toe remained untouched. The feet were then bound tightly in bandages soaked in the water, herb and blood solution, and as the bandages dried they tightened even more.

The feet had to be cared for on a daily basis by soaking them and trimming the nails. If the nails were not trimmed they would grow into the soles of the feet, and cause an infection. This was a daily affliction, and was done for the rest of the women's lives. As well as the excruciating pain of the binding itself, the feet were commonly prone to other complications – from swelling and pus-filled sores in the early stages of the treatment, to paralysis and serious infections such as gangrene.

Bound feet were covered with tiny shoes, which were perfumed, ornately beaded and embroidered.

The men are said to have had a fettish for the bound feet which they named "lilly feet". The "ideal" foot was 3 inches and were named "Golden Lotuses". Feet that were between 3-4 inches were called "Silver Lotuses".
Men who were turned on by bound feet were called "lotus lovers", and are reported to have eaten watermelon seeds and almonds off the feet. It is also said that some men used to drink the water that these feet were soaked in. During the Qing Dynasty, love manuals apparently detailed 48 different ways of fondling a woman’s bound feet.

It was believed that women that had their feet bound would walk a certain way that strengthened and tightened the vagina, and that the woman's buttocks and "jade gate" would develop in such a way that the woman's "Jade Gate" would grip the man's "jade spear" tightly.

During the Song Dynasty's (960-1279) foot binding was used to control women, and deprive them of any independence.


Manchus never adopted the practice, and with the formation of the Manchu state known as the Qing dynasty (1644-1911) they tried to put an end to the practice, but failed.

Foot binding could be seen in the United States in the late 19th century as can be seen in the photo on the right taken in San Fransisco. 
It is believed that 1 billion Chinese women had their feet bound
since the practice started.

The first anti foot binding society was formed in 1895 in Shanghai, eventually spreading across the country. All registered members were not allowed to marry any woman with bound feet. Finally, foot binding was officially banned in 1911 during the Revolution of Sun Yat Sen.


In the the 1980s photographer Joseph Rupp photographed some women with bound feet in the Bound feet project and asked these women to tell their stories.
Lu Zhen-lan told him "Washing and rebinding is not something others should see. I am happy to tell you about myself and foot binding, but you may not write about me or take a picture if you plan to publish them in a pornographic magazine".

Most of the remaining women with bound feet have relatively moderate deformities compared to those of a century earlier, as the practice of foot binding became more clandestine after the 1911 ban. That meant many of these women were older when the binding started. Also, those who unbound their feet under communist rule often saw the length of their feet grow over time. Within a decade or two, the last living examples of foot binding will be gone, and all that will remain are the tiny lotus shoes.

In 1998 the Chinese Xinhua news agency announced that the last factory to manufacture shoes for bound feet in Harbin had ended production.

Zhou Guizhen (86) in 2007 shows her bound feet, followed by additional photos of bound feet



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Friday, August 12, 2011

Their here! Mosquitos in Ireland

Q:  Are there Mosquitos in Ireland,
A:  Yes



P.S. Thats not my hand. I don't wear gay rings!

Monday, July 18, 2011

Siamese Milky Bar

I could not believe my luck today when I bought a Milky Bar. There was 2 bars in the wrapper (1 was a bit scaldy). WIN!!!